i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
