Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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