By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
