So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
