I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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