I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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