why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
