theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
