Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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