remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
