Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
