It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
