he referred to my room as the tit cave...
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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