WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
