so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
