it hurts more in the daytime
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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