There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
