She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
