You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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