All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
