She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
