I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
