we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
