I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
