are you still at the devil's house?
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize