Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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