I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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