He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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