I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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