therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
