but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
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