Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I want to fling myself into the sun
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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