I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
