I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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