Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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