South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
