Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
you mean i was at the winter classic?
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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