yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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