Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
