he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
