I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I booty called her while she was in labor.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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