I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
