So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
