did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
try to milk me bitch
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