in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize