Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
