What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
