i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Randomize
