he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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