We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
