How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
