Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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