i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
