don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
