I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
