Ketchup is God's man juice
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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