i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
