then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
