i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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