In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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