so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
