Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
